Have You Seen Me Lately
by calicoskies4ever
Summary: Stars with season two epiosode Duplicity. What if Lex and Lionel actually talked to each other about their feelings instead of stealing and spying on each other.  WARNING Lexionel slash relationship, rated M for sex, and language No flames Please review
1. Ain't No Reason

AN: Warning! I can not say this enough. Warning for Lex/Lionel slash relationship and for Lex/Lionel Sex later on. Alternate ending for Duplicity, and spoilers for that episode, and the first chapter of something interesting. I'm chopping off my original ending to this so we're going to have to wait and see what's going on.

There ain't no reason things are this way.  
Its how they always been and they intend to stay.  
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.  
Preachers on the podium speakin' of saints,  
Prophets on the sidewalk beggin' for change,  
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name.  
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,  
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing,  
You can spend your whole life workin' for something  
Just to have it taken away, Bret Dennen.

When my father announced that he was moving into the mansion I wasn't sure whether I should have been more pissed off or more concerned. Despite what he may have told me I knew he was only there for one reason, to take down _my _company, and pull me back under his control, under his thumb. Father son bonding my ass; the only kind of bonding my father knows how to do is the type that requires a condom.

The first thing I did was…vomit, and then I called up Dad's doctors. Turns out he lied to me, big surprise there. Turns out he was running away, something he—undoubtedly—would have reamed me for, and not in a good way. As soon as I hung up the phone I went to go scream at him, and throw him out of my house.

I always plan out everything I'm going to do and say whenever I have to come into contact with my Dad, because if I'm not I don't do so well. Frankly I don't do well when I don't plan, but at least then I don't act like a headless chicken. The time he almost killed me with a foil, or his reaction to that poor guy with meteor rock poisoning from the plant are examples of crappy planning. Although he hugged me the second time! In front of people!

Of course I knew it didn't mean anything. He was practically whispering, "don't read too much into this," into my ear the whole time. This time I was not going to get caught off guard. No way no how. No more fucking screw-ups. Dad was leaving, end of story.

"Have you seen my father recently?" I asked a nervous looking servant, and instantly realized that the answer was undoubtedly yes. "Look—Rosa…it is Rosa, right? Okay good—whatever he said to you, I'm sorry. He can be a bit…don't worry about him. In a week or two he'll go back to Metropolis, and everything can go back to normal."

"Oh, thank you, Sir. Thank you; thank you; thank you," she explained, behaving as though I had just pulled her out of a burning building. "Mr. Luthor is having his evening meal in the dining room."

"Thank you, Rosa, and if he tries to do whatever it was again, just tell him—tell him you and I are engaged," I told her with a tiny wink. Her cheeks flushed pink, and then the woman scurried off. Bad enough my father comes down her to screw with my head, but threatening my staff—people who wouldn't have jobs if I hadn't of been sent here—people who work their asses off so that I can get my morning coffee just right… I understand how this all must seem, the world's most spoiled brat (save for the Hilton girls) fancies himself the champion of the working class. It's just that I know how hard they work, and my father is an even bigger creep than I imagined for screwing with them to get to me,

By the time I actually made it to the dinning room, I was steaming mad, or at least I _was_ steaming mad until I saw what happened to him shortly after I stepped into the dining room, but before I got a chance to announce my presence. Lionel sat at the table, his food and glasses set up like positions on a clock face, but even this did not seem to be helpful. After four attempts to try and stab the remaining peas with his fork, my father slammed his fist down on the table in frustration. Unfortunately, this action only caused more trouble, as it made his glass slide off the table, and into his lap.

"Damnit!" he shouted, loudly, or at least loud enough to echo through the whole house. I took several steps backwards, so that I could run in as if I had simply been passing by, and had heard him screaming.

"Everything alright in here, Dad?" I asked, attempting to remain as nonchalant as possible. "It's okay," I finished, leaning over the table, and reaching my arm out for Dad to take. "I've done that a million times, this table is…"

"Shut up, Lex, I don't need your pathetic insincerities!" He brushed my arms away, standing on his own, and using one hand to hug the wall so that he wouldn't crash into anything as he walked along.

"I feel a lot of things for you, _father_, but pity has never been one of them. All I'm trying to do is minimize the amount of damage you do in my house, and that includes not threatening to fire my staff."

"There isn't a thing or a person in this house which belongs to you, Son. Sorry to burst that bubble, which means I can hire and fire whomever I like. Maybe I'll send Dominic down here to be your boss when I crush Lexcorp. How's that sound?"

"He might get bored, not being able to sit under the desk, sucking your cock all day. Of course, on the plus side, once your case of blue balls clear up, you might start acting like a halfway decent father. Then you'll give me the job _I've_ been sucking your cock forever since I was 12. Then all I have to do is throw D in the trunk of my car, drive to beach at low tide, park, and run off."

"Well, if you had been working rather than performing fellatio, you'd have gotten that job by the time you turned thirteen," Dad said chuckling. I was still holding my arm out for him, and just as I was about to drop it, he grabbed me. Well actually he groped the air, blindly, three times before getting my wrist. Then he slammed me up against the wall, roughly, running his hand over my scalp, kissing me passionately, thrusting his slimy tongue in and out of my mouth with an alarming, almost forceful rate.

I really liked it, but at the same time I couldn't what fore him to stop. "What the Hell is the matter with you?" Lionel asked, pulling away. "If you want me to stop you have to actually say the word, no or don't. Otherwise, all I have left is to read your face, since I can't do that anymore, I need you to talk to me."

"I don't want you top stop, well I do—but I'm also—you just said…" and those words were about all I was able to get out. I knew that if I had to keep talking I would start to cry. My father did let go of my wrist, but he hugged me instead. "D—ad," I whimpered.

"I do care about you, Lex. You're my son, and nothing can change that. You're the only thing I have left to really care about. Sure, Dominic is great in bed, but he's a kiss ass who couldn't do his job right if his career depended on it. You, on the other hand, were always my first choice for a replacement, and you are extremely good at this. I'd offer you the job, even if you never let me kiss you, or have sex with you again," he explained, running a finger over my lips, to keep me from talking, and because he likes the feel.

"You're only saying that to get me into bed."

"I'm saying it, because it's true," he told me bluntly, cleared his throat, laughed, and kissed me again. "I'm saying it to possibly change your mind, convince you to comeback to Luthorcorp. Like I said, I don't need you for sex."

"Wh—what position?" I asked, a terrified look plastered across my face. As guilty as I felt over Dad's condition, I couldn't have been happier if he was blind and deaf. Then he'd never figure me out. At least now, he wasn't able to see the look. At least I had that. Before my father could say a word, I grabbed his arm, and started to lead him upstairs. "I don't wanna talk about this right now," I said, pressing my face into his neck.


	2. The Sweet and Sour

I fully expected Lionel to make a crude joke or to laugh at me

"Get away from me  
Get away from me, this isn't gonna be easy  
But I don't need you  
Believe me  
You got a piece of me  
But its just a little piece of me  
And I don't need anyone  
And these days I feel like I'm fading away," The Counting Crows.

I fully expected Lionel to make a crude joke or to laugh at me. I figured I deserved to hear him whisper, "_You're standing here, pressed against me, and inquiring about positions?_ _Tut, tut, tut_." He should have been his usual mean, nasty self. He ought to have done what he always does, and so when my father reacted in a kind, and gentle manner, it's all the more confusing and even, a little, terrifying. His right hand slowly ran up and down my head, while the left one sort of pressed into the small of my back. Somehow I ended up with my head rested on his shoulder, and all of my normal tension, stress, anger, and fear, slowly melted away. I didn't care how it was happening; I just knew that if he stopped I was not going to do very well. _No, I need him to hold me like this for the rest of my life,_ I thought.

"Now, Lex, I have something very important to tell you, and some of it might be difficult to hear, but it is very important that you not interrupt me, or ask questions until I finish. I know; I know, you don't like this idea. It must seem as though I am about to do ad say something cruel and hateful. I'm not trying to hurt you. I won't hurt you. Everything I need to say has a good reason, and will end up with something you like. I promise. Do you understand?"

"Couldn't you just leave out the bad parts?" I asked, trying to regain my composure but Dad only held me tighter. "Just tell me the good stuff, and not the part you know is going to hurt me, okay?"

"I could, but if I don't tell you everything, you'll be left with a lot of questions, which will lead to the things I leave out. Do—do you remember when you were a very little boy, and we took you to the Mayo Clinic, for all those asthma tests? They were trying to learn more about your lungs, in case there was more they could do, treatment wise, since it was causing you so much pain, and was so uncomfortable. The doctors must have taken at least two pints of blood over the course of the week, put in IVs, took X-rays, CAT scans, MRIs, and all of the other things your pediatrician used to do. Some of the tests weren't too bad, but the MRI and the needles were horrible. You were just this tiny, tiny boy, not even five-years-old yet, and even though I explained exactly what was going to happen before we had the procedures done…well, it's one thing to understand how something works, and another to actually experience it. At the end of the second day, that night actually, you came up to me while I was getting ready to put you to bed, and asked if the two of us could speak privately." I suddenly knew exactly what my father was talking about. The memory hurt me hard, but it didn't hurt to think about, so I allowed my mind to drift back to the night in question.

/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/

"I wanna go home," a short, slightly chubbier, red-haired boy begs, tugging on the front of his Warrior Angel pajama top. "I don't like these tests. They hurt and are scary. Please don't make me do them anymore," he pleaded, gray-blue eyes wide, wet, full of fear. A somewhat slimmer, far younger version of Lionel crouched down beside the boy.

"You know something champ? I don't like this stuff any more than you do, and—can you keep a secret? Yes? Good. Every time I see you hooked up to one of those machines, or with a nurse digging through your arm to put in an IV, I get scared too, but the doctors _need_ to find out what keeps making you sick. Maybe when all of this is over the will be able to make you a whole lot healthier." The little boy trusts his father, but the fear is overwhelming; it won't go way even if Alexander knew everything there was to know about exactly what was going to happen to him. He's a bright, extremely bright child, but terror is much stronger than intelligence.

"What do I do until then? I don't like—I hate these tests. I get really scared, and—I'm sorry, Daddy. I know Luthor's are supposed to be brave and strong and never scared, but I can't help it."

"It's alright, Lex. You are right. A lot of these tests and machines and procedures are really, really scary." The father wraps his arms around the boy, pulling him in close. "I just wish I could help you—wait a minute! What if I do this—hold you—while they do the tests. You can sit in my lap whenever they draw your blood and measure your lung capacity. I'll hold your hand or foot or anything I can grab a hold of durring the CAT and MRI scans, and I'll stand behind you with my hands on your shoulders for the standing up x-rays. Would that help at all?" The boy nods vigorously. "Good, and Lex, it is really painful for me to have to watch them do these things to my child and not be able to help. I get scared too. I think this will be good for us."

"I have another question, Daddy. If you get sad watching me, and I'm scared, and Mommy is both sad and scared, then how come I gotta stay here and do the tests? I know I need them, but couldn't Dr. Chandler do the same thing at home?"

"Dr. Chandler does the best he can, but sometimes that isn't enough. The doctors here do so many tests in such a short amount of time so they can learn everything there is to know about your condition. They specialize in treating people with extremely difficult to treat conditions." Alexander cuts his father off.

"I know. You already told me what the doctors do here, and why, but…we don't know for sure if they _can_ help me. Why can't we just go home and not be scared or sad or any of the other icky feelings?"

"Because—Lex, I know you're afraid. I know because I feel the same way, and the only thing scarier than watching you have these tests done is when you have an asthma attack, especially the bad ones when we have to go to the emergency room."

"You're scared at all those times?" Lionel's head nods, once, slowly, defiantly a yes. "It doesn't look like you are. What do you do? How do you keep on gong and doing something when it's carry?" The boy is desperate, and he's starting to believe he's being lied to. The older man's usual stoic face relaxes, eyes becoming soft, and he allows his little boy to see him frowning deeply.

"I didn't want anyone to see that I was I was scared, and upset. I thought knowing my fear would make you nervous. I wanted—I want—to be strong for you Son, but it doesn't mean I felt any less afraid or unhappy."

"You said Luthor's can't be scared, that we're _not allowed the luxury_. You said I have to be brave." Lex isn't so much pissed as he is confused. Right now he's too scared to be mad.

"You must be brave. I'm brave, and I wish you could feel the same way I do, but I went about things in the wrong way. Whenever I feel scared or depressed, or any other icky feeling, I thin about something else. I remember all the happy moments in my life, about you, and mommy. I try to remind myself how strong I am, and even though I'm scared on the inside, I can get through anything. That's what I _should_ _have _told you, Lex. It takes a very brave person to face something they are afraid of, and I know you have that strength in you. We can get through this week, together, even if we are scared sometimes. Everything is going to be okay."

"Do you promise, Daddy? You're gonna be there to hold me and let me squeeze your fingers and make me strong? No going back to work? No leaving?" My father swore, crossing his heart, and pulling me into his arms.

/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/

"Lex, are you alright?" Lionel's voice drew me back to reality, to the present, and I slowly lifted my head to meet his blank gaze. "Very often in order for a good thing to happen we have to go through something difficult and even painful. Okay?" I found myself nodding even though I was less than sure whether or not I agreed with him. "Now promise not to interrupt or ask questions until I finish."

"I promise I'll be a good boy. Just—don't lie or jerk me around, and—try not to be any nastier than you need to be. Please?"

"Lex, I would love for you to come back to Luthorcorp and work at my side. The general public is concerned that I'm no longer a competent leader. I need you at my side. With the two of us working together, no one will be able to stop you and me."

"I thought you said this was going to be difficult. How is _that_ painful? I mean, it's not like I wanted to be a veterinarian or a firefighter. You're basically offering me my dream job."

"Lex, I asked you not to interrupt me. I wanted to tell you the good news first, hoping to make this next bit easier to hear. This summer you organized an employee buyout, using every penny you have in attempt to break away from me. By doing this, you risked not only your future but that of every employee who went along with this plan. You betrayed my trust, stole from me, and we both know that those actions were nothing more than an expensive temper tantrum."

I wanted to scream, _"I only did those things because you didn't leave me any choice!"_ but between the way Lionel was holding me, and rubbing my back, and the promise I had made abut keeping my mouth shut until he was done, I managed to hold my tongue just long enough for him to finish.

"Now, I understand that I may not have given you many options, but there—I, Lex…neither of us has any real trust for the other, but I think we can work on that. If—but you and I both have to change. We can't continue lying to each other about everything. No more secrets. You may argue with me now, if you don't like my plan. My first thought was, _how do I know this isn't some elaborate scheme to get evidence of my weaknesses so you can use them against me?_

"This truth thing goes both ways, right?" I asked, carefully removing his sunglasses in the hopes that I'd be able to look into my father's eyes and know whether or not he was telling the truth. "You're gonna stop lying to me, really stop?" I asked, hating the pitiful tone in my voice. Dad frowned, but not in an angry or disappointed way, reached up to touch my face, ever so gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing you did, Son. I'm angry at myself. I made you like this, hut you, pushed you too hard. It's my fault you don't trust me, and don't want to let me into your private life."

"Dad, stop. I want this. I _like_ your plan. I'd really like to be able—I'd really for both of us to trust any other. Just say, you love me and promise not to lie or keep things from me any more, and I'll do the same. I love you, Dad; I love you so much." Then I really did cry, and he stood there, holding me, rubbing my back and rocking with me in his arms.

"I love you too, Lex, Son. I promise to be truthful from now on. I will never—I won't lie to you anymore. No more secrets. Never, again, alright?" my father promised, sweeping me off to his bedroom.

I barely had it in me to lift my head from his chest to nod, but somehow found the strength to raise my lips to his for a long, wet, hot kiss, allowing him to take control of everything this time. I felt my body being lifted up into the air and then rolled over onto my felly. My clothes disappeared so quickly I almost would have sworn hat Dad had secret meteor abilities he was hiding from me. Then, Lionel pushed me up on my hands and knees. Even though he did it slowly and with much care, I winced as he entered, and heard his soft apology before he continued. It was a really release when I finally came, like all of the years of arguing with my father, and being treated like crap, and all the unhappiness, hatred, and hurt that had built up inside of me was spilling out , leaving my body forever. I felt like a whole myriad of possibilities had opened up. Anything was possible. _Maybe he is right_, I thought. _Perhaps we can overcome our problems, and be happy with each other. Father and son Luthor, together again at last. Yeah, I like the sound of that. _

"Yeah Dad. I'm in if you are."

"You have no idea how glad that makes me feel, Son."

_Fin _I think.


End file.
